Tonight my heart aches.
This week the homeschooling community in Australia is grieving. Earlier this week Elijah Rainbow Fisher, 6mths tragically drowned. Since I heard the news yesterday I have been in a fog, I cannot comprehend the pain that his mother is bowed under. During the night as I tended to my precious boy I thought of Lauren, thought of her empty arms, the enormous stresses she is under, I mourned for their loss, prayed for her and her girls, and for her husband. Then I blessed my child and kissed him repeatedly thinking all the while of another mother’s pain. I am gutted, I simply can’t make sense of this, I feel so bewildered.
This afternoon I received more tragic news, a Sydney homeschool mum,Pam Cain, known as Paminoz to many of us passed away early this morning following a heart attack. Pam leaves behind her loving husband and four children 18, 15, 6, 4. I’ve ‘known’ Pam for many years now, we first ‘met’ back in pre-internet days back when the CM community in Australia was fledgling, we originally were part of a CM sharing newsletter community and then we kept ‘running into’ each other, sharing cyberspace and friends. My heart is heavy imagining the shock and sorrow of her husband and young children.
Tonight my heart simply aches, I’ve hugged my children extra hard, told them I love them with an extra awareness. Tonight I reflect upon my day, and think about what if it had been my last day on earth, did I live it to the full, what legacy did I leave? Tomorrow I plan on being more conscious in my living. Life can change so fast, so unexpectedly. Hug your loved ones extra tight tonight.