A chance comment a fortnight ago has prompted some ponderings. ‘Tracey’, a mum of six aged 3-19, and I were admiring my Bass and her youngest. Tracey shared how she feels so much more relaxed and patient as a mother in her 30s than she did in her 20s. I agreed, I knew exactly what she meant.
Upon reflection however I’m not certain that age is the reason, I know of new mothers in their 30s who are not experiencing this. Whatever the reason, I have been conscious of this feeling since Jem’s birth two and a half years ago. Although I am blessed with a relaxed personality naturally, there is a larger degree of sang-froid in my mothering of late.
As I have grown as a parent I have learnt to control my reactionary tendencies, I am a far calmer parent now in my later parenting than earlier years. Last week at Church a parishioner approached to admire Bass and shared how her daughter had marvelled at Bass’ calmness all through the Easter ceremonies, but then she concluded, “He would be calm, he has such a calm mother.” This is not the first time this has been said to me, a stranger in the supermarket recently said the same, really??!! Reflecting though I realised I am, I have finally developed into that calmer person I have so longed strived to be. Wow!!:)
Perhaps I am more relaxed due to the confidence I have gained in my mothering
over the years. Perhaps I have a deeper appreciation
of the precious Gift of our children. As a former Billings teacher I have always been fully cognisant of the Gift of fertility, deeply appreciative and never taking the Gift of our Blessings for granted. I have always been consciously aware that childhood is so fleeting; my mother reminds me, strangers in the steet remind me, “these are the best years of your life.” Many times I have made a concious effort to slow down and savour the moment. But now I know it is so fleeting, our oldest is 18 this year! I see the years racing by. Now it is no longer just a conscious awareness but I have become intrinsically aware.
Whilst being consciously aware with our eldest to stop and savour the moment, there came a time with our middle children where I was often so busy surviving I didn’t always savour the moment. Now though, with our younger ones I have a far deeper appreciation, savouring the moment has become intrinsic. Whilst in reality I’m certain I’m still busy, I just don’t feel busy, I feel an inner sang-froid that contributes to a deeper appreciation of motherhood. Details that used to take energy and focus just seem no longer so important. Toilet training, when a child begins to speak, whether the children sleep in our bed or not, just all seem so irrelevant, childhood seems so transient. I was sharing my thoughts with PC and he shared he also has been feeling a deeper appreciation and awareness for savouring the moment.
Anyone else experienced this?